Kill the Hippo?
Unless you are reading the GWEnglish blog via Facebook, Google Reader, or some other RSS feed compiler, you will notice that to your right we have introduced our very first poll. The question we are asking is nearly cosmic in its importance: should the English Department adopt a new mascot, or is the noncolorful Hippo statue you see on our blog and Facebook page to be retained?
ARGUMENTS FOR MASCOT MURDER AND REPLACEMENT: The hippo bears an uncanny resemblance to a former president of this university who is not remembered for his love of books. The hippo is not a literary creature. No great poem has ever been composed about hippopotami. William Shakespeare was indifferent to hippos. This African creature kills more humans per year than lions do. In these lean economic times the hippo is no longer an appropriate symbol. Because of their bulk hippos may be susceptible to diabetes and heart disease. English majors prefer gloomier, more ponderous fauna. The English Department requires a symbol consonant with its dignity: a quill for example radiates a certain gravitas. The English Department needs to stop pretending that it possesses dignity and gravitas: how about a Jabberwock or frumious Bandersnatch? A raven might fit the dour times and suggests Poe, who died about thirty miles north of here.
ARGUMENT AGAINST: The Hippo might be sad.
Please VOTE and let us know.