Photographic Proof

Sandra Bernhard really did visit the English Department on Thursday, and we have the photographic evidence: behold some pontificating in Rome Hall 771 NOT being conducted by an English department professor. Bernhard made a guest appearance in Faye Moskowitz’s creative writing class, then lingered in our seminar room to mingle with students, faculty, and (as it turns out) a motley group of interested people who heard she was in the building and seemed drawn to her as if she exudes some invisible magnetic force.

The department chair, meanwhile, is still trying to convince the English Department Office Manager, secretary, and work-study students that it is OK for Sandra to possess a sassy mouth and insouciance, but that’s her thing — she gets paid for it. The English Department chair, on the other hand, demands a certain amount of gravitas and decorum in the office. That’s why he placed an empty cardboard tube next to the candy dish, christened it the “Beating Stick,” and instructed the secretary to use it without warning upon anyone who removes more than two Hershey’s kisses per day.

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